Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Giving up

Yeah, it goes against my grain to give up, but I'm not strong enough any more to keep hoping. The cash I had stashed will have to go for bills around here since my husband is having trouble with his business. It's not his fault, he's waiting for people to pay him and sometimes it takes a while.

I've fought the darkness growing inside me long enough. I've been to the doctor she's put me on antidepressants and given me xanax. They don't work, not really.

I feel better right now, than I have in a while. It's easier to give up than it is to keep trying. Even hopes and dreams take energy I don't seem to have. I'll stop fighting the darkness and let it take me, perhaps I'll find a better place there in the dark.

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